Remember...

“When you can't remember why you're hurt, that's when you're healed.”
~ Jane Fonda

Tuesday, a co-worker walked into the office and immediately said to me, "Congratulations!" I was puzzled for a few moments until she brought me up to speed - we had both started our jobs on the same day one year ago. I had been aware of it, as we'd made a few comments about it in the past few weeks but on the day it had completely slipped my mind.

Something even more important slipped my mind until later in the day. If I had been at my company for one year, it means I'd just passed one year since I had left my husband as well.

You'd think it'd be something that would occupy my mind quite a bit. He had been my entire life for almost 5 years. He put me through a certain kind of hell and back, and looking on in hindsight, there were certainly positives and negatives to the relationship. I cannot fathom where I'd be in the world literally or figuratively if he hadn't taken me in when I needed it. Despite how much it hurt then, it had been time to leave him.

The quote at the top of my post rings very true for me right now I suppose. I don't believe in anyway that I'm fully healed from things that happened but if I don't even remember that the anniversary has passed? It must be a good thing.

I've spent that year well I think. Time grieving for the loss of love yet knowing it was the right thing to do. Learning about myself in a way I never had before, proving to myself that I can be "on my own" and successful. Maintaining and thriving in my job, as much as it will allow. Making new friends, having new experiences. Finding love in unexpected places. Lots and lots of growing.

I'm a stronger person now. It's amazing to me how things can change in such a short period of time. For this period of time in my life I have to say, even through the hard times I've had, it has been an overwhelmingly beneficial season.

There is no doubt in my mind though that a very large part of my making it through my marriage breakup and the past year in general has been the generosity and love of my friends. To those of you who have been there from the start and those I have acquired along the way, to all of you - thank you. Thank you for standing by me in hard times, for listening to me cry and vent and struggle, for understanding when I haven't been a very good friend in return, for sharing my joys and happiness and allowing me into your lives. I love you all and appreciate all you do for me, even if I don't always show it well. *hugs*